Consistently Flighty

Cindy Rushton over at Cindy's Desktop ( http://www.cindysdesktop.com/) asked a great question (I'll let you go there and read it) that really made me think. Maybe it was a little more personal of an answer than she was looking for, but I tend to do that. Personalize things.

I'm inconsistent. Horribly so. I like to think of it as an undiagnosed "over-the-counter" form of ADD. Or maybe it's just that I'm flighty. Curious. Easily distracted? How about too busy? I do have four children, three fishes (yes, it's proper to say that in this case. I checked.), two dogs, a husband, and a partridge in a pear tree.

Sort of crazy then, that I would start a blog on which I intend to write at least three days a week, right? I try to volunteer. I homeschool most days. And I've been working on an afghan for 4 years. Right now that blanket may just cover a baby crib.

I dream big. Not Mount Everest big, but big. There's a certain ideal I have for myself. Things I would LOVE to accomplish. Places I want to go, sights to see. I have great ambition. Grand thoughts. I don't just want it all, I want to do it all.

Then reality hits. I start crocheting the blanket and mid-row, the phone rings. I begin writing and a kid wants math help. I've come to expect these types of interruptions. I'm a mom. Mothers everywhere roll their eyes as they read that.

The reality is I'm undisciplined. I'd always made excuses for myself like the ones I just gave until my father brought it home to me. Dads are good for that. While I was making jokes at yet another unfinished project ("Dad, I'm just easily sidetracked."),
he broke it down for me. "Dear, you're not flighty or stupid. You just need more discipline in your life."

WHAT? Ouch.

But he's right. After I got over my initial reaction I realized how right he is. Is that the legacy I want to leave my children and their families? Projects started and not finished, a life wasted by dreams without accomplishments? Hardly.

And so I resolve to begin a disciplined day. Today. I'll start small and build. Line upon line, precept upon precept. ;P I think if I start with a schedule that will force me to accomplish more. I'll have to get to all those things I'd LIKE to do because the things I HAVE to do are done.

We'll see how this new idea works. I'll let you know.